I've got glass balls! Oh, I've got glass balls! They're such big balls! Fancy, big balls! (now let's see if they stay on the tree)

Please enjoy the 5:30 am photo of my partially decorated tree.

When I was pregnant with my first baby and worried about the pain of labor, all the mothers I knew told me, "Don't worry about the pain. You forget about it as soon as the baby is out." Not very encouraging advice might I add, but I guess to a certain extent it is true although my own deliveries were fast, uncomplicated and epidural-assisted experiences.

Apparently this phenomenon also effects puppy ownership and your choice of Christmas tree decorations.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I vaguely remembered having a few Christmas trees with decorations on only the top third of the tree. I can't recall the last time a poinsettia has graced my home (and I LOVE them!). Yes, children and pets do alter your life a bit and I had forgotten how much Christmas needed to be modified in order to be safe for all.

In addition to this, or rather, to add insult to injury, Daisy is going through a foundation developmental phase. Rearranging furniture, changing feeding times and anticipated regularities can disrupt the pup. I have rearranged the furniture and have recently switched Daisy to a two-time-a-day feeding. I feel like the plumber with a running toilet. Don't get me wrong! There was no way I was going to omit the Christmas tree for the sake of Daisy's comfort (trust me; she won't need canine therapy because I moved furniture and put up a lighted tree). But I have gone rather far a-field of my own teachings (and preachings).

I set up the tree slowly to let all biological organisms in my house adjust. Last night, Friday Family Movie and Pizza Night, we put up the bead garland and started on the glass balls (Alan calls them "bulbs" confusing all the children). It proved to be a bit too much for everyone. Ever try to untangle 72' of silver beads and get them on the tree without the children and puppy grabbing and running with them? Not the easiest thing I have ever done, I assure you. The fake tree was endangered. I was endangered of being killed by the fake tree! It is just the first of the Ward-Walker Family 2009 Christmas Miracles that the tree did NOT get knocked over. Daisy peed on my non-washable tree skirt. Ella broke two glass balls insisting that she was a Big Girl and could hang the glass ornaments. Angus re-decorated with the silver and red bead garlands... by pulling them off the tree, entangling them and throwing them back into the branches. I tried to keep as best a sense of humor as possible. It's not about the ornaments, I told the kids and puppy, I just don't want you to get cut by glass. I could give a crap about the dozen and a half glass balls from Target for $2.50; I've got boxes of them.

So my mantra the holiday season is "That [insert object here] is just not as important as you." I think it's a good one for this year. It's either that or "Get me another Bailey's please." We'll see how the holiday progresses.

Until then, the house count is:

Ella: two glass balls

Angus: no actual destruction yet

Daisy: peed on tree skirt; gnawed one gold, plastic snowflake; also gnawed a Burger King Madame Alexander Wizard from the Wizard of Oz doll

Not a bad count so far, but it's only day 5 of the 25 days of Christmas.