My friend Ed is expecting a baby. Well, his beautiful wife, Michele, is expecting a baby. Ed is just living vicariously through her! When my Aunt suggested I start this blog Ed and Michele came to mind as they have two toy breeds that pretty much think they are the masters of the universe. No offense to Ed and Michele, of course! Their dogs are not rotten or extremely unruly but exhibit the garden variety impish behavior I would expect from most dogs under 30 or so pounds. I warned Ed in advance that I would be mentioning his family in the blog and he responded with a good starting point for me. He said he knew that you should bring the baby's blanket home from the hospital for the dogs to smell and get to know the baby before he/she comes home and asked what else he should do.
I used to volunteer a free class at the Area's Biggest Baby Shower in New Brusnwick, NJ with my dog Buffy to demo how a dog should behave around small babies. Joe and I also offered a 2 hour Pre-Baby Class at Camp K-911. We highly recommended that expectant parents start preparing all pets in the family for a new baby as soon as they find out they are having a baby. When I found out I was having my daughter my own mother reacted with, "What are you going to do about those Rottweilers?" At the time I had two, Buster and Buffy, and they were just about as well trained as you could ask two dogs to be. They were both shining examples of the genius, precision and gregariousness that is often overlooked in their particular breed. I told my mother they would have to adjust to the changes in our family but that they would be staying no matter what. I told her they were family and they would learn to love and protect our newest and littlest member just as they had me. This is the same thing I would tell my clients: as your pack/family evolves and grows, your dog should be included in those changes. Having a baby does NOT mean the dog has to go, but change and evolve he must and this is done only with your guidance and leadership.
(Just to note, Lopey was a puppy at this time, but Lopey's story will have its own post... probably in several parts! Buckle up for THAT, readers!)
I break the process of Baby Training into trimesters to keep it congruent with the development of the pregnancy.
First Trimester:
1. Make a plan: Yeah, I know. You pretty much need to make one more plan while growing a baby! However, logistics are fairly important and the plan should be set early and enacted. Decide if the dog will be allowed to continue to sleep in your bed, on the couch, etc. If you start early enough in the pregnancy you will have plenty of time to make these changes slowly and kindly and create alternatives for your dog. (ie. a soft, luxurious dog bed instead of the couch, etc.). I do recommend that the dog be excluded from the nursery unless escorted by an full-grown human with a leash. Trust me on this one: mother-in-laws will go mad at the site of dog hair in the nursery and will probably call a HAZMAT team as well as DYFS the first minute you leave the room. You may feel that installing a doggie door and fence will give your dog a bit more freedom. You may want to incorporate a crate so your dog has his own room to get away from all the excitement. Discuss the logistics calmly and rationally. The important thing is to set a plan and put it into action.
2. Assess your level of obedience: No, this is not directed at the expectant father (though it would serve you well to brush up on following your lady's hints, subtle suggestions and outright demands!). Run down the list of basic commands for any dog: sit, stay, down, stay, come, stay, heel, stay. Notice some thing here? Stay (and I mean STAY PUT AND DON'T YOU DARE MOVE) is a vital command when expecting a new baby. You want to be able to put your dog in a place and not have him second guess you and tra-la-la over to you changing a dirty diaper as he will probably (worst case scenario) grab it and run around the house "redecorating" if you will. You'll also want to be able to answer the door with your sweet baby in one arm to receive the lovely -and daily- bunch of roses from the new daddy (fellas, THAT'S a hint!) without the dog bolting out of the door and creating a whole rescue drama that is not fun, amusing or exhilarating at all. If your dog is woefully lacking in these vital command, call a trainer and get a crash course. Remember, at this point you still have months to prepare.
Second Trimester:
1. Time to get moving: At this point expectant Mom should be feeling pretty good and still have some agility in her. Not that I'd have her jumping over double jumps or walking balance beams, but her center of balance typically has not taken a weird turn. I myself didn't feel awkward with my first pregnancy until about month 8 when I got stuck on the floor in a puppy class and Joe had to help me up and immediately put me on forced maternity leave after the class. with my second pregnancy, I was pretty uncoordinated at month 4. Using eating utensils was even a juggling act!
Nonetheless, Mom should get moving with the dog in baby-style. What I mean by this is you should incorporate the baby equipment into your life NOW. Push a stroller while walking the dog, start playing baby cries on the computer (there are a number of web sites that have these screaming infant recordings exactly for this purpose), set up a playpen, crib, etc. and get the dog used to seeing and negotiating all this new stuff. Some folks have a tradition of not bringing any baby items into the house until the baby is born. If this is the case find a trainer that offers baby classes. I had a whole spectrum of strollers, blankets, playpens and the like for this purpose. Clients could come to the school, train the dog with the equipment and go home. The benefits are not as good as having a real-life experience in the home. If your dog reacts negatively to the addition of all the accessories that come with a new little one you still have time to correct it.
2. Step up your training: Even if your dog's behavior is spectacular, you should make an effort to advance his training or add in some fun events, tricks, skills for him to master. The reality is your dog's grip on your attention is slipping and he may already know it. Engineering creative ways for him to continue to participate in the family will be super beneficial for his well-being. Retrieving the newspaper, learning to fetch the mail (this is a bit advanced but still possible) or helping to close doors (a fairly simple learning process) all help to incorporate your dog into the new family dynamic. A dog that has a clear set of rules and a simple, comprehensive job description is a happy dog. If advanced trick training is simply beyond you, establishing a regular and daily walk or fetch game. This should preserve a healthy dose of daily, private human and dog interactive time. Keep it Dog Time and be sure to leave the new baby out of it.
Third Trimester:
1. Adopt a needy, plastic baby: I know. You want the real baby. You are dying to meet him or her. So is your dog. His acute senses have him fully aware that there is massive hormonal changes in the air. My own dog Buffy actually started to act quite odd around me before I learned I was pregnant with my daughter. She was so odd, uncharacteristically gentle and steadfastly refusing to do any bite work that I actually took her to the vet thinking there was something physically wrong with her. It was only in later weeks when I found out I was expecting that I realized the cause for her odd change of spirit. It continued throughout my first pregnancy and recurred in my second. Trust me, your dog knows something is coming and he needs your help to navigate the pack change.
So get yourself a Fake Baby. Find one at a garage sale, borrow one from a family member or purchase one. Ideally I would recommend one that cries. While I was pregnant with my daughter I had a Fake Baby that would laugh and cry at random (she cost about $20 and was worth every penny). In order to get her to stop crying you would have to pat her on the back or rock her. The Fake Baby was pretty tricky to console and one day my Mother visited during a significant training session with Buster and Buffy. I just couldn't get the Fake Baby to settle down; the dogs were doing great in patient down and stays. So I flipped the Fake Baby over and flipped the shut off switch. My Mother said, "Uh, Anna, you know, the real baby won't have a shut off switch." Touche, Mom, touche! Live with your Fake Baby! If your dog is going to make mistakes you want him to make mistakes with the Fake Baby! Carry the Fake Baby around. Put the Fake Baby to bed and tell your dog it is Quiet Time (aka. down and stay time). Put small amounts of baby powder, cleanser, wipes and lotion on the exposed plastic bits so your dog can become accustomed to the new product smells in the house. Basically, treat the Fake Baby like your real baby and command obedience from your dog. Again, at this point you still have time
2.Practice the Homecoming ritual: When Mom goes to the hospital, her absence, Dad's tension then elation will not go unnoticed by your dog. Anticipate a reactive dog when she returns. Rather than have Mom and new baby pawed when they arrive home, practice the following Homecoming ritual with a fake baby and stick with it when you come home.
Firstly, Mom should not, should not have the baby when she comes home from the hospital. Mom will be sorely missed for the 3-7 days she has gone "missing." Upon her arrival at home Mom should be sure to dedicate a lavish greeting to the household dogs sans baby. I cannot stress this enough. A new parent's reaction when a dog jumps up at a baby is to pull the baby out of harm's way. This will cause your dog to jump and this may teach your dog to jump at the baby to investigate. Remember that dog is just as interested in meeting this new person as you are. You can't fault him for that, but you can manage his behavior and manners. After a sufficient greeting, Mom (or a third party if Mom is in pain or excessively stitched or there is a significant difference in Mom/dog size) should leash the dog and Dad should bring in the new baby. As quickly as possible the baby should be placed in a bouncy seat, crib or similar sleeping apparatus. Be sure to keep baby at an elevated level. Don't put the baby, bouncer, etc. on the floor. Now, Mom and Dad should let the dog sniff about and investigate the new pack member. You don't have to let the dog get very close. No slobbering on the crib or baby. NOTE: YOUR DOG WILL GET EXCITED. When he does start to unhinge with excitement, start throwing him commands in near proximity to the baby. This will teach your dog that your commands still count, your rules still hold even though there is a new member disrupting the order of your pack and that his unswerving obedience is non-negotiable. Use your stay command. Down and stay around the baby's stations are critical.
3. Come to terms with the animal in your dog: My apologies to all of you that dress your dogs in Bark Avenue duds, have Poochi fur-trimmed carriers and the like, but the reality is your darling overly-bred, allegedly-domesticated pet is really an animal. I know you have loved him and raised him as if he came from your own loins, but the truth is he is a dog and every dog has the potential to "let the wolf out." I recommend that parents not allow children to be unsupervised with dogs regardless of the size of the dog until the children are between 10-13 years old. I will be discussing this further in another post but for now do not leave the dog with the baby. Be smart and err on the side of caution.
As a trainer, I found that the families that were most concerned about Pre-Baby Training were the families that had the least to worry about. Conversely, the more cavalier and casual the family, the more potential danger was apparent. I had one family that called me a few days after the new baby had come home and when I arrived for the class I was greeted by FIVE 100+lbs Rottweilers (two of which were un-neutered males), all unleashed and a five day old infant in a car seat on the floor. Loving the Rottie breed as I do but also having a profound respect for what they are capable of, I froze in the threshold of the front door. Frankly, I wasn't sure if the totally excited dogs would knock the baby over and injure her or attack me for intruding. out of the corner of my mouth I asked the family members to carefully and calmly leash up all five dogs so we could address them one at a time and reduce the Disaster Potential significantly. After some serious evaluation, I'm glad to say I convinced the family to crash course the dogs and we put a number of safety plans in effect until the dogs were fully and reliably trained. Fortunately, the dogs were all good-spirited and very stable and trained well and this story has a very happy ending with a satisfied family, well-adjusted dogs and, most importantly, a safe newborn.
This outline of training and expectation is merely a sampling of the creative methods that can be employed to incorporate. Obedience is the core of maintaining a good family pack in which no one has to go live with Aunt Edna. I must stress that if you have any doubts about your dog's ability to handle the new addition, if you have aggression issues the you have ignored or if you are simply unwilling to train your dog at all, you are courting disaster. Enlist a good, reliable trainer for a clear and dog-specific evaluation. Please keep in mind that there is no educational requirement or licensing for dog trainers in many states, nor is there a doctrine standards and practices. It is best to locate a certified trainer and most trade schools have a search engine on their sites. National K-9 School for Dog Trainers, the school from which I received my certifications, is an excellent school and turns out well-educated trainers who are instructed to use a variety of techniques to teach owners and dogs the basics of obedience and beyond. Ask for references and be sure they are experienced in teaching Pre-Baby courses. This is the most important training you and your dog will do, so don't slack off on it and certainly don't blow it off!
And remember, at this point you still have time. But get to work!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment